[4hb] Week 15 & 16: What Happens When Life Happens

Weeks 14, 15, and now 16 have nearly been a bust. Work and life changes have consumed me the last couple weeks. I’ve eaten more fast food than I care to acknowledge and worked out far less than I could have hoped.

I had to work through the last weekend, and I have been working so much this week I haven’t been making the time. Sometimes I have made good decisions while going through one drive through or another, but just as often I made poor ones. It’s been fortunate that I haven’t suffered a major flareup during the product release. However, I did make it to the gym three days in the last week among the chaos and I’m fucking proud of that.

Well, now that is done, and now I have only to assess the damage. Luckily, not much. Some excess water weight from too much salt and sitting in the jacuzzi too long.

I just have to get through today, my show Saturday, and then I have my first 5k on Sunday.

Originally, my bestie and I planned to run the 5k together. We’ve been training for months for this, but unfortunately, she had to have a medical procedure this week and can’t run. She won’t even be able to attend the race to support me. Completely understandable.

And yet, I’m kind of sad. I’ve been working so hard for months to do this race, to be able to run in intervals for extended periods of time. I mean, just to run AT ALL has been this huge accomplishment. I’m sad because I didn’t make as much progress as I expected. I haven’t been able to exceed 14 minutes of running non-stop, and that’s barely a mile at my pace. After three months, I still can’t run a mile solid and here I am thinking I’m going to run three + miles? Alone?

Part of me is thinking about just not going. What’s the point if I have no one to celebrate with? No one for me to cheer on and to encourage or likewise. I’m a social animal to the core, community support is my fuel.

This journey isn’t about anyone else, though. It’s about me taking control of my life. Taking control from pain which turned into taking control from any influence that hindered me. I didn’t sign up for the 5k for anyone but me. It doesn’t surprise me that I’ll be going it alone considering that has been the significant running theme for me this month especially.

So I’ll do it. I’ll use it as a time to meditate on what I want to accomplish with my life over the next 16 weeks, what dreams I want to make reality, what goals I need to plan for and how I intend to accomplish them. And not just fitness-wise. I need to really take stock of what I want in life because I’m kind of confused on what that is right now.

My next update will likely be after Sunday and then I don’t know if I’ll continue the 4-hour body posts, especially since I have deviated so far from that program.

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